The Impostor Syndrome

Source: Buzzfeed[1]

Ever felt like a child in adult’s clothing, like everyone else has their act together except you, or felt like a fraud?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (4 February 1906 – 9 April 1945) was a German theologian and pastor imprisoned by the Nazis. He was eventually executed, probably by slow hanging, in Flossenbürg concentration camp for his involvement in the 20 July plot to assassinate Hitler. The story of the plot was made into the movie Valkyrie starring Tom Cruise as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg.

In prison, Bonhoeffer penned this poignant poem. While few of us have been in prison for our beliefs, we can nevertheless relate to the sentiments:

Who Am I? Who am I? They often tell me I stepped from my cell’s confinement Calmly, cheerfully, firmly, Like a Squire from his country house. Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders Freely and friendly and clearly, As though it were mine to command. Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune Equably, smilingly, proudly, like one accustomed to win. Am I then really that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, Yearning for colours, for flowers, for the voices of birds, Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighbourliness, Tossing in expectations of great events, Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all. Who am I? This or the Other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved? Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

The term ‘impostor phenomenon’[2] was first coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes from Atlanta, Georgia, in their paper The Impostor Phenomenon (Clance & Imes, 1978). Clance later designed a psychological test that enables leaders and others to measure the phenomenon. It is called the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Test. You can take it online here: http://impostortest.nickol.as/ After you take the test, it produces a report for you so you will then be able to have a more objective idea about how what you are feeling relates to what others experience.